Monday, March 23, 2009

I am so tired of being tired.

I have been exhausted lately. So much so that I am constantly "out of it". It is the reason I haven't updated in so long.
Part of the problem is that I am pregnant. Yes, for anyone who didn't know, we are expecting #3! I am excited about it, it is a very good and blessed thing, but I am still tired. Mostly though, I am tired because my hypothyroidism and adrenal fatigue have hit me hard. I can tell the difference from just being tired, pregnancy tired, and hypo/AF tired. This is hypo/AF tired. I am sure the pregnancy had something to do with my hypo/AF getting worse, but I am so sick of being tired it isn't funny. In the last two years I have felt human for about a month. I took some of my hydorcortisone for a few weeks in January, and it is amazing how normal I felt. I actually was able to get through the day with out napping, and without even feeling the need to nap. I had the ambition to clean my house, and KEEP it clean. I wanted to play with my kids, and see my friends. It wasn't like I was full of crazy energy, I was just normal, or almost normal anyway.
I always feel like I am lazy. I should just "buck up" and make myself do the things a normal person would do. If I just do it, I will get the energy. It is so not true. In fact, I just plain old don't have the stamina to do more than survive most days.

Copied from my hypothyroidism blog...
I read something in the book "Adrenal Fatigue" that really hit home for me. ....
"These people may appear to friends and family to be lazy and unmotivated, or to have lost their ambition, when in reality quite the opposite is true; they are forced to drive themselves much harder than people with healthy adrenal function merely to accomplish life's everyday tasks."

That is exactly how it is for me. I really struggle with making it from one day to another much of the time.
I am very blessed to have a husband who understands (or at least tries to) and helps me when I need it.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel though. I didn't take the medication when I was pregant and breastfeeding Gwendolyn because the doctor said it was a "C" drug and I shouldn't. I did some shallow reasearch that scared be into agreeing with him, so instead, I just felt like crap for two years.
Now that I am pregnant, and looking forward to another two years of this, I did much deeper research, and found that at the low doses that I would be taking, and the reason I am taking it, there is actually very little risk to the baby. I am still going to wait until my second trimester, to be extra catious, but the doctor has pretty much agreed to let me go on it next month!
I am so, so, so looking forward to being able to function normally (or at least almost normally) again!


momof2penguins said...

Congratulation on #3!! I know the tired all of the time feeling. I felt like that before I found out I had sleep apnea. *hugs* I'm glad your doctor agrees you can take your pill this time around.

Crystal Carr said...

Congratulations, Laura!!

I completely understand not having ambition and fighting to survive. Don't kick yourself when you're down - truth is, your body is ill, you need to rest and nap and take it as easy as you can to help your body heal and stay alive.

Hang in there! Praying for you!

Amber said...

A third baby! Congrats!

I'm glad your doctor is going to let you be on your medication and that it won't harm the baby. I can't imagine being constantly exhausted for two more years!